I missed seeing whether or not the automatic payments were still going through on this blog until recently. I was so consumed with work and school that it was almost all I have been doing for years….

I’m still here, still sober, and have been doing the work to maintain my sobriety. I got through most of the school program I’d chosen for myself. I really wanted the piece of paper that said I passed, finished the whole program. That I had a college degree. I thought it would make me feel better about myself. With a few classes to go in the last semester I just couldn’t do it anymore. I felt absolutely weighed down, stuck, and riddled with guilt when I wasn’t doing my homework. I couldn’t do my homework though, just couldn’t. I talked to an important person in my life, wrote about it, spoke with that person again, and decided to quit.

I haven’t been doing anything creative, and I’ve felt increasingly tired, unfulfilled, and that something important is missing from my life.

Then I found that I still have this, the blog I started and abandoned. I thought about it for two weeks, and here I am again. I’ve been reading a bit of poetry here and there and wrote a poem last week. I feel different inside in a good way, like something that was empty in me is being filled.